Grief is so strong that it affects our mental state and our body physically.
The emotions that make up grief usually also come with a negative mindset.
This begins the downward spiral of negativity and bitterness.
We feel like we don’t deserve to or just can’t seem to find a way be happy.
We have come to accept the situation that we are in as permanent and stop wanting more for ourselves because we feel like we either can’t, or are scared to try.
We choose to stay in our comfort zone where it is perceived as safe, no matter how truly unhappy it makes us.
As humans we learn to adapt to the current situation, as unpleasant as it may be, it becomes normal even if this normal isn't what we really desire.
When someone we love dies, our dreams go up in smoke. Our expectations are shattered. The future we planned for is gone.
It makes us angry and bitter.
It poisons our heart and affects our lives and the lives of those around us.
Like any poison, we have to find healthy ways to remove it form our system.
I realized that I hated life, I hated myself, I hated everyone and everything... I was bitter.
I took my children to a children's bereavement group every week for 3.5 years.
The kids gathered and played, talked, had a rage room to get their anger out in a safe way, and were read books about death and dying and how to cope.
The parents would meet upstairs and talk about their losses.
But it became too painful for me to keep repeating my story week after week to new participants in the group so I stopped sharing and just listened.
We stopped going when my children no longer needed the support.
It wasn't until I made the conscious choice to heal and let go of the anger and bitterness that I started to feel any better.
I decided that I did not want to live a life where grief was my state of mind.
I needed to find self love and happiness again and stop being so negative about life.
I was tired of being the victim and thinking that my life was ruined beyond repair.
I learned how to 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩 and it changed my life.
I realized that what I think and feel and how I react to triggers and other people is a 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 that I have to make.
I realized that 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 and my thoughts and that grief does not control me. I control it.
It took a lot of time to get past the overwhelming stages of grief, but once I was able to I took over the wheel.
You can too!
𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛 𝙞𝙨 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙐𝙣𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨.