As the holidays approach some of us find it hard to be "thankful."
Some of us have no family table to sit around and share good times to be thankful for. Some of us lost that.
When we enter the holiday season grieving the loss of a loved one, everything feels different. A big piece is missing and we’re often expected to go on like everything is normal.
The kids and I spent the first Thanksgiving after our loss with Larissa's family. After 26 years together I was a part of the family and thought it would help the kids and I feel at home.
We didn't. We felt like outcasts. It was clear that we were not thought of as family anymore.
Finding things to be thankful for became difficult. To be honest, life sucked and I wanted no part of it. I wasn't thankful. I had nothing to be thankful for.
But that was where I was wrong. I had EVERYTHING to be thankful for, I just wasn't looking through that lens. I was looking at life through that dark lens of grief so all I saw was my loss, my pain, and everyone else having things to be thankful for.
Over the years I learned how to be grateful again. To give thanks for the things that I still have in my life. It helped me and my kids to heal.
This will be another Thanksgiving like the rest, me and kids, just us. For that, I am thankful. We will focus on what we have, what we had, and not what we don't have.
We will continue to create joy and happiness through gratitude.
So, if you’re heading into Thanksgiving missing a loved one, know that you are not alone and it’s totally okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Just try, as hard as it might be, to find one thing that you are thankful for... focus on that one thing.
I am grateful for the 26 years we had together, the good, the bad, and for the 2 wonderful kids that you gave me. Thank you Larissa. Always in my heart and always on my mind.